Hooray (for) Henry!

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Championship: Surrey v Yorkshire – The Oval, 21st – 24th May

“There is nothing like A.Gale,
Nothing in the world.
No longer bats like a snail,
And his name is Andy Gale

Nobody looks like A.Gale*,
Ooh-ahh
Nobody hooks like A.Gale,
Ooh-ahh
Avoids getting ducks like A.Gale,
Ooh-ahh
Etc, etc, etc…”

*Excluding members of the Eastenders cast

The Oval: scene of last years opening championship fixture, which was won with a commanding 346 run margin. Whilst this season sees us arriving on the back of a decidedly shaky start to our title challenge, with the weight of injuries suffered leading to first class debuts for Oliver Hannon-Dalby and Henry, Rana Naved’s tame toupee. You can imagine how delighted I was to see his arrival – as if I don’t have enough things to iron overnight…

Henry: Lover, fighter, discarded Axminster off-cut.

There are many things that can spoil a game of cricket: overpriced beer, bad light, someone sitting behind you saying “They should have had two there” every time the ball is hit straight to Mark Ramprakash. Although that last one’s my fault for sitting next to Mags in the dressing room.

Top of my list would be pitches like this, that are as flat as Keira Knightley – it would be ungallant of me to speculate which one offers the most sideways movement.

There’s nothing wrong with a belter of a pitch for a one-day game, but first class cricket requires more of an even contest. Twenty-three wickets in more than three hundred and fifty overs isn’t the formula for getting people though the turnstiles, not unless they have time to watch the game come to a natural conclusion half way through day seven. By which point the bowlers averages would be as high as their blood pressure.

The Oval pitch: Add in six golf holes and you could play snooker on the damn thing

Speaking of medical conditions, our physio Scott McAllister has been carrying so many players off the field he’s in danger of getting repetitive strain injury. With this match’s crock-of-the-day being Rana Naved, who went down like a sack of aloo whilst running a quick single. Judging by the way that he gingerly made it up the steps to the dressing room, it’ll be some time yet before Yorkshire supporters see him running in from the Kirkstall Lane end with the wind whistling through his hair. I say his hair, but the original owner is probably some Romanian kid who’s now wandering round the orphanage with a tuppenny all off.

The injury crisis at the club has now gone beyond a joke, disappeared over the horizon and reappeared behind us as a joke again. Which is why a few of the backroom staff have had special bingo cards made up with names of players and injuries instead of numbers. I’ve just got to cross off Tim Bresnan and scurvy to get a complete line. Given his diet it’s only a matter of time. Play the waiting game Len, play the waiting game.

Obviously we’ve agreed that whoever wins should shout out ‘House’ rather than ‘Bingo’. The last thing we want is another hamstring to go as Mags and Goughie dive for cover into the showers thinking the ghost of Christmas past is paying us a visit.

Goughies least favourite Banana Split

With the match petering out into a tame draw and Rana added to the list of the limping wounded it’s easy to feel despondent about the way our season is going. But there were some positive signs to come from the match.

Our batting in general looked more dependable in this innings than it has for the best part of a year, with classy contributions from Rudolph and McGrath. Lyth showed enough promise to suggest that at some point this season the dam gates will burst open and he’ll start to score more heavily and Gale’s century showed the one he scored against Hampshire wasn’t a one off and that he’s now nailed down his spot in the team.

Kruis & Bresnan both bowled with real heart on an unresponsive surface and thoroughly deserved four wickets each. Whilst Oliver Hannon-Dalby showed a glimpse of the future with some excellent deliveries as well as a distinctive upright running style that reminds you of John Cleese doing an impression of Michael Johnson.

So with the county schedule throwing us straight back up the motorway to Derby, it’s a case of another day, another dollar, another chance for a Yorkshire bowler to collapse in a heap.

Si’thee later,

Len

Btw: Jimmy Ormond still looks like a scotch egg on legs.

My Man of the Match: Andy Gale

Result: Surrey (11 points) drew with Yorkshire (11 points)

~ by lentheyorkshirekitman on 24 May, 2008.