We’re all going on “a pre-season training camp”
“We’re all going on a pre-season training camp,
No more lousy weather for a week or two.
Absolutely no scuba diving on our pre-season training camp,
No more indoor nets for me or you,
for a week or two.
We’re going where the sun shines brightly,
We’re going where the sea is blue.
We’ve heard they serve beer in the hotel bars,
Please God let it be true.”
Well, we’ve had lots of happy faces wandering around Headingley today. And no wonder. After a winter of cold weather, hard training and absolutely no cricket, the day every Yorkshire professional has been waiting for, finally arrived. March 18th: when I officially take over responsibility for washing and ironing their clothes for the rest of the season.
No more hiding incriminating stains from loved ones. No more unsuccessful attempts to remove the smell of kebabs from coat pockets. Uncle Len is back to wash everything clean bar their conscience. That and the chicken chow mein remnants Brez keeps spilling down the front of his boxers. Absolutely nothing can fully shift that.
Chicken Chow Mein: Tim Bresnan’s kryptonite
Today’s also waving off day, as the squad head out to the United Arab Emirates for “a vital pre-season training camp”. Good choice that, as the UEA has everything we could need. Reliable weather, top class facilities and the kind of steadfast refusal to sign international human rights and labour law treaties that ensure a much smaller hit to your wallet than expected. I believe they’ve also got a couple of cricket stadiums now too.
Not that some of the squad seemed to understand that, given the amount of none essentials they packed. In fact a good half an hour was wasted persuading some of the more intense ‘snorkel snob’s’ in the team that it made more sense to take their cricket kit out with them and hire scuba gear when they got there, rather than the other way around.
The remaining contraband goods packed by the squad. Yellow spade in centre background: Joe Sayers. Orange bucket at front: Deon Kruis. Everything else: Simon Guy.
Anyway, I’m flying out myself tomorrow with the communications manager Mr Buttler. Given he’s already told me how excited he is to be watching the team play in Dalai Lama (presumably he’s hoping the Abu Dhabi can calm down the situation in Tibet) some of his reports back could make for interesting reading.
Si’thee later,
Len
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