Hanging on the Telephone

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We almost did it. We almost made it through an off-season without some kind of crisis that no one either inside or out of the club can fully get their head around. Now in quick succession we’ve got two in a row, both of them linked to the same root problem. Namely, how can you recruit and retain quality players when you’ve got groups of businessmen in other parts of the world waving huge wads of money around, like drunken city traders in a cheap lap dancing club? Not that the thought of Scott Styris gyrating round a pole with 100 rupee notes hanging out of his g-string is a pleasant one.

Scott Styris: Stripper name would be Bambi SweetLick.

Over the last couple of days you could see any number of people wandering round Headingley with the kind of slightly bemused expression you’d see on an Australian who’s been given a library card as a joke birthday present.

The source of the befuddlement? What the heck is going on with Morne Morkel?

First it seemed as if we’d captured the services of one of the coming men of South African cricket. Then it’s reported that he’d signed to play for ICI in India at the same time. Now today we learn he’s been selected to tour India with the South African test team during the run up to the English season. Unless he’s one of highly talented triplets or Doctor Who’s new regeneration, then someone’s kippers will go cold waiting for him to turn up to the team breakfast.

Just as confusingly is what led us to this situation. No one really seems to know why his name has been linked with this Indian league, if he’s actually signed or not and just what he’s got to say for himself about the whole thing. As not only is his agent claiming no knowledge of the deal, but seems to have no way of actually contacting him. I mean, the guy’s currently in a Bangladesh hotel with the rest of the South African team, not filming a new series with Bruce Parry in the Amazon basin.

The Springbok 2000BC: South Africa’s most technologically advanced mobile phone and Morne Morkel’s personal communication device of choice.

The whole thing is a mess. Although in this case, not one of our own making and one that’s engulfing a number of other English county sides. For now, the club seem fairly certain he’ll be with us before the first game of the season, but who knows what will come out the woodwork tomorrow? Not Mr Regan’s fist of course, that was removed a couple of days ago as I mentioned in my last post…

Si’thee later,

Len

~ by lentheyorkshirekitman on 13 March, 2008.