Regarding Rana Naved and Morne Morkel
Ey up. A number of you having been emailing me, asking what’s going on, ever since the news broke this afternoon that Morne Morkel has signed up for the new IKEA 20/20 league in India. I’ve got a couple of things to say about that.
Firstly, how the hell did you get my email address? It’s not been put on the site yet.
Secondly, things are just as confused at this end too. The first anyone knew we had a problem was this morning, when the fire brigade turned up at Headingley to cut the chief execs’ fist from out of the hole he’d just punched in the committee room wall. After being finally extracted, his mood wasn’t improved by discovering just how thin the oak panelling actually was. Dark muttering where then heard coming from his office as he spent the remainder of the morning scrapping at the taps in his en suite with the end of a protractor, to see if we’d been jipped again and fitted with gold leaf after we’d paid for solid. He’s like that is the chief exec. Always making sure we get value for money.
Ever since then it’s looked like panic stations in the office block, with members of the marketing and PR departments in a complete tizz and the communications manager so disorientated he was actually caught at his desk doing some work. Which would explain why the official web site was down for most of tonight.
As for the rest of the staff, it’s been a giant game of Chinese whispers as everyone tries to second-guess who the replacement player could possibly be. Given we need someone who isn’t on tour in this country or elsewhere, isn’t tied up by playing in either the official IKEA or QVC rebel league, and isn’t part of any future cricket competition no one’s even heard of yet, the pickings are slim. But there are rumours that the committee may have pulled another rabbit out of the hat. Word is, we may re-sign our first ever overseas pro. No, not the one you’re thinking of. This one:
I’ll pass on more when I find it out…
Si’thee later,
Len
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