Elvis has left the building…
“The ancient sages said “do not despise the snake for having no horns, for who is to say it will not become a dragon?” So may one just man become an army.”
I’ve seen and done some odd things in my time at Yorkshire. But I doubt anything will top standing around in a panda costume, watching the Yorkshire captain dressed as Elvis try to appropriate Burt Kwok’s opening narration to The Water Margin, into his end of season speech.
It’s fair to say that at times, Goughie and the English language are barely on nodding terms. But somehow this particular effort – think David Brent channelling Henry the Fifth’s eve of Agincourt address – managed to capture all our thoughts about the summer. Basically, “thanks for all your hard work this season, let’s try not to cock it all up at Hove next year”.
Gough in full flow: “We few, we happy few, we band of brothers…bloody hell, who wrote this crap anyway?”
I should probably point out that myself and ‘The Dazzler’ weren’t the only ones making prize plumbs of ourselves, as it was all in keeping with the Yorkshire end of season knees up. As always, the basic idea came from the Captain: “Fancy Dress”. With the theme being supplied by the Chief Exec: “Nothing too expensive, the committee room jacuzzi needs de-scaling”.
A few of the staff, Goughie (peanut butter and fried banana sandwich era Elvis), Jacques (colourblind 60’s hippy) and the marketing girls (naughty pirates) were able to source costumes from their own wardrobe. For the rest, it was left up to muggings here to drive round various fancy dress shops in the area collecting appropriate attire.
Len-Len the panda
Whilst I went for the most absurd outfits they had, playing one-day cricket for Yorkshire seems to make you pretty much immune to embarrassment. After all, if you can survive the black-hole for self respect that was our Pro40 away game at Durham, dressing up as one of Girls Aloud doesn’t seem all that bad. Come to think of it, that probably explains why our England players didn’t mind getting last pick.
Anyway, I’m not sure how long things lasted before people got changed again and headed into town, as I’d made my excuses fairly soon after the karaoke machine was wheeled out. To be exact, it was right after Steve Oldham’s, erm, ‘brave attempt’ at “Rhythm is a Dancer”. That’s an image that will take a lot of alcohol to remove.
David Wainwright and invited guest Ryan Sidebottom dominated the karaoke
The following day is always the saddest one of the year for me, as I clear up the aftermath of the night before. I’m not saddened by the effort needed to get the crème de menthe stains from DoubleM’s baby bonnet or unwedge Brez’s cowboy gun from the dressing room ceiling – if he treats possessions like that it’s no wonder he never gets the new ball. It’s the thought that I’ve got another six months before they’re getting under my feet again that gets to me. Another seven before they can get me alternating between euphoria and dejection within the space of a few hours. I probably shouldn’t be wishing my life away at my age, but roll on April next year and the start of the new season…
Si’thee later,
Len
Leave a Reply