T’Ashes or Bust…#3

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Si’ thee later,

Len

Ashes 2009 – Cardiff Test, Day 1

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First Test – SWALEC Stadium (Sophia Gardens to anyone with a soul), Cardiff

Day 1

Toss: England won the toss and chose first use of the pitch and third use of the Welsh Guards band during the anthems.

England Batting:

Andrew Strauss: All the talk about Phil Hughes’ difficulties with the short ball and it’s the England captain that was undone by a corker by Mitchell Johnson. Looked in decent form up till then, but like Hughes is probably in for a peppering from now on.

Alastair Cook: Always looks confused after getting dismissed, even though it’s always the same way – waving his bat outside off-stump like a teenage boy who’s found his sister’s dildo.

Ravi Bopara: Stayed leg side of the stumps, slashing at everything in reach. Looked clueless against the short ball and sported an unconvincing beard. Congratulations, Ravi, you win £5 for the best impersonation of Phil Hughes seen today.

Kevin Pietersen: Poor KP, three national anthems before the start of play and he didn’t know the words to any of them. As a result he was so confused he scampered several quick singles by running straight down the middle of the pitch. I’m sure Panesar and Swann told him off for doing that. To be fair, he did bat for some time with his Mr Sensible head on, but whenever that happens the pressure builds inside him to do something stupid – well, you’ve seen his dismissal by now. Not the worst shot in Ashes history, but fucking close. Still, at least his end of play interview provided the best display of spin seen in the series so far.

Paul Collingwood: Needed 17 runs to upgrade to an OBE and did it with ease. In many ways a typical Collingwood innings; not the prettiest knock but his runs where made when England needed them most, rather than when there are easy pickings – which is why he’s still in the side while the more talented but temperamentally more suspect Ian Bell isn’t.

Andrew Flintoff: Decided to hit his way into form; looked like it was working till he dragged on a ball that might have kept a touch low. Attitude was summed up by one close-up of him mouthing the word “Bang” as he practiced a shot. Well, it looked like bang to me…

Matt Prior: For my money played the best knock of the innings, and showed his form against lesser teams hasn’t flattered his talent. If Australia keeps giving him width he’s going to murder their bowling this summer. Was eventually out to the best ball of the day, otherwise he looked on for a century.

The Australian attack:

Mitchell Johnson: Arrived at the top of his run up just before 11 a.m. Brain arrived about an hour and a half later.  From then on he bowled much better, with the slower ball to dismiss Bopara the best thought out wicket of the day. Needs to sort out a seam position that’s as crooked as a Ukrainian parking attendant.

Ben Hilfenhaus: Most consistent of the Aussie attack. Bowled full, straight, with a bit of swing and was unlucky not to get KP when he was plumb lbw on 61. First impressions are he’s one of those work-man-like bowlers who in a quality attack will pull their weight, but lack the cutting edge to drag others in their wake.

Peter Siddle: Run up of Craig McDermott, attitude and aggression of Merv Hughes. Body language gives impression he’d run through a brick wall for Australia, face gives impression he already has. Deserved the two wickets he got towards the end of the day, even if it tipped the advantage back in Australia’s way. I like this guy a lot; a big heart goes a long way with me, although I’d still prefer it if he was called Simon Piddle.

Nathan Hauritz: Ah, Nathan Hauritz, winner of Channel Nine’s reality TV show, ‘Australia’s Got No Spinning Talent’. Anyone who gets out to him should have the details tattooed onto their forehead to shame them – KP, I’m looking in your direction.

Captaincy:

Andrew Strauss: Won the toss, which is good. Sent in a nightwatchman which is VERY, VERY, BAD. And it still didn’t stop Prior getting castled. Know what that is Andrew? It’s called Karma.

Ricky Ponting: Charlie Brooker once described someone as “having a face like a cartoon sketch of a foolish horse”. For some reason that kept popping into my head whenever I watched Ponting in the field, as at times he allowed the game to drift so much I thought the entire stadium was going to flout out into Cardiff bay. Beyond some set piece plays worked out in advance, his tactics seemed to be ‘Rotate seamers with new ball – next 55 overs, pray – rotate seamers with second new ball’. Still got him seven wickets though…

Overall:

England: Ran better between the wickets than they have for quite some time – the absence of Owais Shah is, I’m sure, coincidental. But the old problem of batsmen getting in then getting out reared its head again. Somehow I can’t see Hussey or Ponting making the same mistake, and they may well get chance to prove it tomorrow.

Australia: Gave too much width at times, but on the whole I thought the seamers did a decent job on a slow pitch. Had some luck with batsmen helping out on one or two dismissals but performance with second new ball showed how they gained revenge recently in South Africa. Never mind 2006/07, that’s the series the English media are overlooking.

Advantage: Australia, if they can get England out for under 400.

Sky Sports Commentary Highlight: David Gower criticising Michael Clarke’s fielding. Yes, that David Gower, the one who threw underarm for the last five years of his career.

Crowd: Got steadily louder, got steadily drunker. Ok, par for the course then. But their understanding of a wide seemed to be based on twenty/20 cricket. I fear we’re on a slippery slope…

Thought for the day: If Sky’s picture-in-picture camera is called ‘Run Box’, shouldn’t their new pitch camera be called ‘Dirt Box’?

Si’thee later,

Len

T’Ashes or Bust…#2

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Si’thee later,

Len

T’Ashes or Bust…#1

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Not made me mind up yet whether I’ll run with this throughout the Ashes…

Si’thee later,

Len

Michael Vaughan retires – My moving tribute…

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Enjoy your retirement, Michael, and the rest of your life.

Si’thee later,

Len

Championship Review – Six games in…

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Here are links to my thoughts on each of the division one sides so far this year:

Durham

Hampshire

Lancashire

Nottinghamshire

Somerset

Sussex

Warwickshire

Worcestershire

Yorkshire

Predictions:

Eventual winners: My thoughts are pretty much unchanged from pre-season. It’s between Durham and Nottinghamshire, but with the weather holding, the leg-spin of Imran Tahir and Piyush Chawla could see Hampshire and Sussex having an outside chance.

Relegation: Worcestershire look to be in free-fall, with little chance of survival. The remaining place is probably a shootout between Warwickshire and Yorkshire, but if Lancashire’s new ball attack are injured, they could still be dragged into the mire.

Championship Review – Six Games In…Yorkshire

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Yorkshire

So much for my pre-season prediction that Yorkshire would finish in mid-table. Still possible I suppose, ten games to go is a long way, but right at this moment it looks like they’re in for yet another relegation dog-fight. As with Worcestershire, the frustration is that Yorkshire has talent in their squad, but as a unit they constantly underperform. A frustration that’s compounded by many of the teams failings being long-term problems that seem impossible to resolve.

The tenancy for the panic button to be pressed mid innings is the biggest worry, leading a batting line-up that looks strong enough on the scorecard, to collapse all too often, with all too disastrous consequences. At least this year the problems with the opening partnership have been resolved, as much work has clearly been put in by Joe Sayers and the coaching staff to rebuild both his confidence and technique; the result being a return to the solidity shown at the start of 2007. Although a question mark remains about his scoring-rate, in most part the feeling that until he fully masters the art of the quick single, the development of his batting will remain a work-in-progress.

Facing the new ball with him has been Jacques Rudolph; not a popular move with the membership, but a pragmatic one that has resulted in an average first innings stand from last season of under 17 runs improving to one of almost 50. The move has had a consequent weakening of the middle order, but in truth Yorkshire has several Jacques Rudolph sized holes in their batting, but only one Jacques Rudolph to fit them.

Instead the middle order berths have been taken by Vaughan, Mags and Andrew Gale, with Adam Lyth left in the seconds after doing very little wrong except to be uncapped. It’s in this middle order where much if the problems begin, as Vaughan has struggled to regain the form of old, leading to today’s retirement announcement. Add in the lack of runs from Andy Gale at number five for much of the season and you can see that here is where Yorkshire’s batting collapse’s start to take momentum. A return to form of Gerard Brophy has helped, but with hand injuries keeping him on the sidelines with increasing frequency, we may get to see more of the highly promising Jonathon Bairstow.

But whoever is behind the stumps, they need to hang on to every chance coming their way, as Yorkshire’s bowling attack has struggled at times to find penetration on some fairly bland county pitches.  The situation has been exacerbated by international calls ups for Tim Bresnan and Adil Rashid; Bresnan for Test duty on the basis of his form in limited overs cricket, Adil into the Twenty/20 world cup despite not playing in that particular format for nearly a year. Go figure.

The remaining seamers, Hoggard, Rana, Kruis and Shahzad have had their work cut out on some absolute roads and with a set of fielders prone to the occasional outbreak of dropsy. Even so, the hoped-for improvement in Rana Naved’s form, in championship cricket at least, is yet to materialise and is having a serious effect. How much better an attack would Yorkshire have if a quality overseas strike bowler was doing the business for us? Although looking round the counties, it seems that kind of player is hard to come by.

Verdict:

The ability to collapse at the drop of a hat and an attack that’s showing no kind of form, seem to be condemning Yorkshire to another fight against relegation. But perversely, the retirement of Michael Vaughan may help matters, as his lack of runs and the unwillingness to drop him had been holding back some of the talented Yorkshire youngsters. With the possibility that Rashid will be playing in the Ashes, it may well fall to the burgeoning ability of youngsters like Bairstow, Lyth and Rafiq to lead Yorkshire to safety.

The Spectator

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Eleven; a pitch, an umpire, a batsman,

An overcast and dim April sky.

Watch twenty-five more years,

But the dance remains the same – There is no way out.

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They’ll collapse and follow-on once more,

Everything will repeat itself of old.

Eleven; the icy blast of April wind,

A batsman, an umpire, a pitch.

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With apologies to Aleksandr Blok for bastardising part of Dances of Death

Twenty/20 in 20 words. Game Ten.

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Twenty/20 Game Ten, Yorkshire v Derbyshire – Headingley, 28th June

Derbyshire won by 37 runs

[Scorecard]

Third abject defeat in five days. Six wickets to Needham and Law? Stuart f#&king Law! Vaughan, take others with you…

Si’thee later,

Len

Championship Review – Six Games In… Worcestershire

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Worcestershire

Oh, Worcestershire, what are you doing? I was so hopeful for you, predicting a possible mid-table finish. Turns out everyone else was right; you’re going straight back down to division two. The annoying thing is most of the reasons I thought you might do ok this year remain the same. On paper your batting looks solid and experienced, and your bowlers talented enough to take twenty wickets in a match. But instead you’ve been inconsistent with the bat, feeble in the field, and judging by your last game against Yorkshire, incapable of applying the killer touch.

The absence of Simon Jones from your attack was perhaps to be expected – you’re more likely to see white dog-shit on a cricket field these days. But there still should be enough penetration from Kabir Ali, Imran Arif, Matt Mason and Ashley Noffke to propel you further up the table. That’s not happened, with a serious underperformance from others leaving the inexperienced Chris Whelan Worcestershire’s leading wicket taker. It’s not just the lack of wickets that’s the problem, but little control can be maintained in the field when the opposition is regularly scoring at upwards of four runs an over. As a result, not only are opponents racking up imposing first innings totals, but doing so at a speed that leaves plenty of time to finish off the Worcestershire batting twice.

With the spinning option of Gareth Batty being just as ineffectual, it’s hard to know where captain Vikram Solanki is supposed to turn with the ball. It’s to be hoped that Kabir Ali has been feeling his way back from injury so far and once back to full speed – and there were signs at the recent televised 20/20 game against Glamorgan that he is – he can lead the line and inspire the rest of the seamers. There’s no reason he can’t, as Kabir is one of the more consistent bowlers on the circuit, all be it one that seems oddly unfavoured by the England selectors.

If only the same consistency could be shown by the Worcestshire batting line-up. Instead, the sparkling form of Solanki, reliability of unsettled wicketkeeper Steve Davis and heartening emergence of Moeen Ali as a player with star quality, have struggled to compensate for the indifferent form of Stephen Moore and Ben Smith. Batting as a whole has also been inconsistent, with it hard to predict whether the team will dig in for a creditable performance or collapse like a house of cards. Yet another worrying state of affairs for director of cricket Steve Rhodes.

Verdict:

Currently languishing at the bottom of the table, and looking like staying there – but there’s still ten games to go. For a recovery to happen, much will depend on Kabir Ali hitting top form, and dragging a couple of the other bowlers with him. If they can do that and the batting line-up fire more often as a unit there’s still a chance for them to survive. A tall ask, but at least they have bowlers capable of getting them out of trouble, which is more than can be said for relegation rivals Warwickshire.